


You raise me up

by Malecfan09



Series: Musical Malec Muse [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: After events of s02e12, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Boyfriends, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Music, Song Lyrics, Supportive Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29694165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malecfan09/pseuds/Malecfan09
Summary: The song ‘You raise me up’ provides the framework to the aftermath for Magnus and Alec of the switch with Valentine and the torture of the agony rune
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Musical Malec Muse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2166129
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	You raise me up

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration from the song “You raise me Up” composed in 2002 by Rolf Løvland with lyrics by Brendan Graham. 
> 
> Thank you to my wonderful beta @Lilyofwalley for suggesting I try this and for introducing me to the fabulous version sung by the Finnish star Saara Aalto. 
> 
> None of the characters in all this series are mine, of course, they belong to the great Cassandra Clare. Any mistakes are mine alone and I own them completely.

**_When I am down and oh my soul, so weary_ **

There was a moment amidst the pain and the fear, when Magnus was just so very tired that he thought that maybe death would be the easiest option. It certainly wasn’t working out trying to convince Alexander who he really was. Being inside Valentine’s body was almost as bad as the torture inflicted by the agony rune. Not to be recognized for who he really was, to feel the hatred for the person he inhabited, to know the fear of imminent death, to see the disgust in his lover’s eyes, to know that his boyfriend was in the same space as that monster, to feel helpless, powerless.

**_When troubles come and my heart burdened be_ **

The nights are the worst. All the memories brought up by the agony rune come to the surface. His mother’s death, his step-father’s wrath, his own fear of dying and his subsequent retaliation. They haunt him, wrap their dark and ugly tendrils around his mind and heart. He can’t sleep, afraid of those dreams that break the silence, shattering his peace of mind into a million shards.

**_Then I am still and wait here in the silence_ **

So he gets up, leaves the warm cocoon of comfort with his lover and goes into the living room where he waits. Waits in the silence of the night for the memories to fade and the pain to subside..but they never do…

**_Until you come and sit a while with me_ **

…until the morning arrives and the sun creeps over the windowsill and a sleepy bedhead boyfriend emerges, eyes still tired from sleep and body only half-awake. He is a sight for sore eyes, a balm to Magnus’s soul, a soft breeze that touches the darkest parts of his mind. And just for a moment, he is at peace.

**_You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains_ **

How is it possible that he has found this man and that he is loved by him? In all his hundreds of years he has never met someone so honest, so real, so sincere. Alexander makes him feel as if his world is solid, not made of shifting sands that the agony rune has created in his soul.

**_You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas_ **

Alexander looks at him with eyes so full of love and compassion that he is almost blinded by the intensity. _There is nothing about you that is ugly_ , resounds in his mind and replays like a favourite melody. He saved himself from being drowned all those hundreds of years ago and now he has been saved from drowning in the stormy seas of his mind by the generosity, kindness and love of an extraordinary man.

**_I am strong when I am on your shoulders_ **

He hasn’t felt so weak and vulnerable in centuries. The agony rune and the psychological and emotional impact of being trapped in Valentine’s body have created enough damage to last a lifetime. Yet…in the presence of Alexander, knowing that he loves him unconditionally, that he accepts even the most shameful parts of his life, Magnus knows he will find the strength to overcome one of the most cruel and terrifying episodes of his long life.

**_You raise me up..to more than I can be_ **

Yes, he has had so many relationships that they become a blur in his mind, but he always felt alone, was never accepted fully for who he was, who he _is_. With Alexander he finally feels whole, powerful in his individuality yet always surrounded by a feeling of togetherness that stitches up his broken, lonely heart and wraps it in a comforting blanket of love. Together, with Alexander, he feels capable of taking on the world.

**_You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains._ **

**_You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas_ **

**_I am strong when I am on your shoulders_ **

**_You raise me up..to more than I can be_ **

Alec is really struggling to help Magnus and he feels extremely guilty about everything that has happened to him. He’d not believed him, he’d not seen though to the man inside the Valentine exterior, he’d nearly helped to kill him and he’d allowed the agony rune to be used on him. That he feels remorse about all this is the understatement of the year. He remembers the feeling of utter panic when he understood that their bodies had been switched, that it was Magnus in the execution chair; Magnus seconds away from death. He still has nightmares about it. So he knows, without a doubt, that Magnus is suffering even though he is putting up a brave front. Alec wakes up every morning to an empty bed and every day the smile and little kiss from Magnus when he walks into the living room get stretched thinner and thinner until they are transparent. It is at this point that Alec decides enough is enough. He has to do something to help Magnus. This has gone on for far too long. He loves his boyfriend with a certainty and a profoundness that feel as solid as a mountain and as deep as the ocean and now he needs to show him that he is there for him, will be there for him, always. Once Magnus opens up about the effect of the agony rune and reveals his past to Alec, there is no doubt in Alec’s mind, no hesitation because Magnus is his WORLD and Alec will use all his strength to hold him up, like Atlas from the myths, so that Magnus can rebuild himself from the turmoil created by the agony rune storm.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos make my day and I’d love to know what you think about this.


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